ohhhlooo:)
You don’t get to choose who handles your heart. There are simply people who were born with it in their teeth. When you meet them, it is best to build a bomb shelter.
Tara Hardy (via feellng)

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

metal-rider:

jennikeatts:

focusbtch:

syrianlady:

This will happen when you leave men alone with babies.

facking hell i cant stop laughing

I like how in the first one he shakes the baby to make it grab the candy

So the moral of the story is leave men a lone with babies

kartoffel-n:

tomtenacious:


vegan-vulcan:
X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand

"not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"

somebody lend that guy a hand

kartoffel-n:

tomtenacious:

vegan-vulcan:

X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand

"not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"

somebody lend that guy a hand

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

vegeta-bles:

vegeta-bles:

When ur in the dark and can’t find the hole

image

tortillah:

do you ever see someone so attractive that you just

image

ex0skeletal:

Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.

girllookitthatbody-ahh:

I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.

“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”

Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.

tickatocka:

i aspire to be one of those people who are known for always smelling good and treating people kindly